Tonight was a pivotal moment in my parenting-life. My husband and I brought our littles out to dinner...ages 9 & 6...and if you can believe it: no one had to be dragged out of the restaurant kicking & screaming; no one had to be "warned" 856 times that if they didn't stop "that" there would be no dessert; no one needed to be threatened that "when we get home your night is OVER young lady (or man depending).
In fact...we laughed, we giggled, we smiled and best of all EVERYONE GOT DESSERT !!!
SUCCESS!!! YES!!!
:o)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Embrace your Framily...we've all got'em...
It's funny, this was going to be a long & convoluted description of what my favorite term "Framily" is. But after typing, deleting, revising, re-typing & deleting...I decided to go with the whole K.I.S.S technique...(Keep It Simple Stupid ;)
Framily is nothing more/nothing less than "Friends" who are like Family. These "friends" can be biologically related, non-biologically related, 6th cousins twice removed...quoting the old movie Meatballs: "It.Just.Doesn't.Matter."
The people you can call on day or night; rain or shine; after 10 mins or 10 years of seeing each other last and you can just pick right up where you last left off...THESE are the people who make up your Framily.
Think about it for a few seconds or minutes...you too, most likely, have a number of Immediate and/or Extended Framily members dating back to your childhood, teen years, post-college years and/or pre-"responsible adult" years. Whoever they are...be them mothers, fathers, sisters, brother, cousins, best friends, college roommates, old co-workers, step-siblings, half-siblings, teammates from yester-year or yesterday..."it just doesn't matter".
Embrace Framily :o}
Framily is nothing more/nothing less than "Friends" who are like Family. These "friends" can be biologically related, non-biologically related, 6th cousins twice removed...quoting the old movie Meatballs: "It.Just.Doesn't.Matter."
The people you can call on day or night; rain or shine; after 10 mins or 10 years of seeing each other last and you can just pick right up where you last left off...THESE are the people who make up your Framily.
Think about it for a few seconds or minutes...you too, most likely, have a number of Immediate and/or Extended Framily members dating back to your childhood, teen years, post-college years and/or pre-"responsible adult" years. Whoever they are...be them mothers, fathers, sisters, brother, cousins, best friends, college roommates, old co-workers, step-siblings, half-siblings, teammates from yester-year or yesterday..."it just doesn't matter".
Embrace Framily :o}
Monday, March 21, 2011
to be or not be...a Martial Artist ;)
Japanese Martial Arts, Korean Martial Arts, Indian Martial Arts, Chinese Martial Arts and Brazilian Martial Arts. Within those cultural arts, there are hundreds of specific art-forms. To name a few, we have: Karate, Aikido, Juijutsu, Judo, Taekwondo, Hapkido, Kuttu Varisai, Varma Kalai, Kung Fu, Tai Chi Chuan, Capoeira & Brazilian Jiu Jitsu...
From my recent perusing and reading on the topic of being a Martial Artist, all art-forms appear to teach the same basic principles: Modesty, Courtesy, Integrity, Self Control, Perseverance and Indomitable Spirit.
Modesty: possessing and exhibiting humility; behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency and expressing these traits through work ethic & motivation for self improvement
Courtesy: gentle politeness and courtly manners; kindness and consideration expressed in a sophisticated and elegant way
Integrity: a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes; honesty and truthfulness of one's actions
Self Control: the ability to control one's emotions, behavior and desires
Perseverance: continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure; persistent determination to adhere to a plan of direction; insistence
Indomitable Spirit: a refusal to be beaten, no matter how tough, talented or big the obstacle
Lately, I've been faced with a few situations recently, both personally and socially, that has lead me to the point of researching the true meaning of being a Martial Artist. As I sit here and type out the definitions, I'm comfortable enough in my own skin and character that I can consider myself a Martial Artist. I post this out here for others to read, then ask themselves as straight-forward as possible: Do you walk the walk or simply talk the talk?
Only the deep, down inside 'You' can answer this...
* ya know...like with Integrity and all ;)
From my recent perusing and reading on the topic of being a Martial Artist, all art-forms appear to teach the same basic principles: Modesty, Courtesy, Integrity, Self Control, Perseverance and Indomitable Spirit.
Modesty: possessing and exhibiting humility; behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency and expressing these traits through work ethic & motivation for self improvement
Courtesy: gentle politeness and courtly manners; kindness and consideration expressed in a sophisticated and elegant way
Integrity: a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes; honesty and truthfulness of one's actions
Self Control: the ability to control one's emotions, behavior and desires
Perseverance: continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure; persistent determination to adhere to a plan of direction; insistence
Indomitable Spirit: a refusal to be beaten, no matter how tough, talented or big the obstacle
Lately, I've been faced with a few situations recently, both personally and socially, that has lead me to the point of researching the true meaning of being a Martial Artist. As I sit here and type out the definitions, I'm comfortable enough in my own skin and character that I can consider myself a Martial Artist. I post this out here for others to read, then ask themselves as straight-forward as possible: Do you walk the walk or simply talk the talk?
Only the deep, down inside 'You' can answer this...
* ya know...like with Integrity and all ;)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Naïve or just plain Ignorant?
...either/or is not good...but in my opinion ignorance is intolerable, since it is also reversible...no?
As always, I will first go to the definitions and then ramble on from there...so as to not be ignorant myself ;)
Naïve : "a French loanword (adjective, form of naïf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication; in early use, it meant natural or innocent, and did not connote ineptitude."
Ignorance: "a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge). The word "ignorant" is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult."
By definition, one who is Naïve is simply inexperienced & does not understand that they are unaware. To me the implication is that as you gain experience you would naturally lose a level of naïveté.
Unfortunately, if you are deemed Ignorant, your uninformed state is caused by lack of knowledge, which I see as a willful condition. A condition that one can quickly alter by seeking out the knowledge that he/she lacks. Once confronted with said knowledge, you can no longer plead ignorance. At this point your denial of information that is at your fingertips results in what I call "Intentional Ignorance" --> a completely unacceptable state of mind.
Intentional Ignorance has been a pet peeve of mine since my earliest memory. I've found that most people who appear to be ignorant, choose to be as it is less complicated than to acknowledge the information that has been demonstrated or explained to them. Those who willfully choose not to see what is right in front of their very own noses are in fact denying knowledge.
The denial of knowledge leads to the use of my #2 pet peeve: the belief in the phrase "it's just the way it is."
"It's just the way it is"...another completely unacceptable way to look at the world around you. If the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton or Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr held fast to the thought of the masses during their times, Black people would still be sitting in the backs of buses & Women would still be unable to vote.
...and while the examples I reflect on are extreme situations...they stemmed from what was commonplace and acceptable. If you personally contribute to the mindset that "it is just the way it is" for ANYTHING...you personally contribute to suppression and oppression of others.
If you are faced with factual information and you choose to deny it...you are being part of the cause and in no way, shape or form, being part of the solution.
...just think about that for a moment.
As always, I will first go to the definitions and then ramble on from there...so as to not be ignorant myself ;)
Naïve : "a French loanword (adjective, form of naïf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication; in early use, it meant natural or innocent, and did not connote ineptitude."
Ignorance: "a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge). The word "ignorant" is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult."
By definition, one who is Naïve is simply inexperienced & does not understand that they are unaware. To me the implication is that as you gain experience you would naturally lose a level of naïveté.
Unfortunately, if you are deemed Ignorant, your uninformed state is caused by lack of knowledge, which I see as a willful condition. A condition that one can quickly alter by seeking out the knowledge that he/she lacks. Once confronted with said knowledge, you can no longer plead ignorance. At this point your denial of information that is at your fingertips results in what I call "Intentional Ignorance" --> a completely unacceptable state of mind.
Intentional Ignorance has been a pet peeve of mine since my earliest memory. I've found that most people who appear to be ignorant, choose to be as it is less complicated than to acknowledge the information that has been demonstrated or explained to them. Those who willfully choose not to see what is right in front of their very own noses are in fact denying knowledge.
The denial of knowledge leads to the use of my #2 pet peeve: the belief in the phrase "it's just the way it is."
"It's just the way it is"...another completely unacceptable way to look at the world around you. If the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton or Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr held fast to the thought of the masses during their times, Black people would still be sitting in the backs of buses & Women would still be unable to vote.
...and while the examples I reflect on are extreme situations...they stemmed from what was commonplace and acceptable. If you personally contribute to the mindset that "it is just the way it is" for ANYTHING...you personally contribute to suppression and oppression of others.
If you are faced with factual information and you choose to deny it...you are being part of the cause and in no way, shape or form, being part of the solution.
...just think about that for a moment.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
People "think" in terms of their individual "creative" abilities...
Recently I've started to think that people "think" in terms of their individual "creative" abilities.
Take our musicians...and I mean TRUE musicians. Not folks who enjoy music or those who can simply play music...I mean the ones who live, breath and create music. I'm starting to believe that they actually think, perceive and see musically. My husband doesn't just 'hear' a song...he hears every single component of the song...including the artist's intent. He doesn't just take a walk on a wooded path...he absorbs the sounds and sights around him and appears to translate them in to music.
My father does the same thing using Math. Every thing he sees, hears or deals with, he seems to perceive as or in a mathematical equation.
I believe every "style" of person (musician, artist, teacher, engineer, chemist) has a very specific creative ability that they perceive, feel and experience life through. If we can get educators from the top down to see and feel this...then we can tap in to each child's creative ability resulting in their success.
...and this is where I will start the next phase of my life coming from...stay tuned... :o)
Take our musicians...and I mean TRUE musicians. Not folks who enjoy music or those who can simply play music...I mean the ones who live, breath and create music. I'm starting to believe that they actually think, perceive and see musically. My husband doesn't just 'hear' a song...he hears every single component of the song...including the artist's intent. He doesn't just take a walk on a wooded path...he absorbs the sounds and sights around him and appears to translate them in to music.
My father does the same thing using Math. Every thing he sees, hears or deals with, he seems to perceive as or in a mathematical equation.
I believe every "style" of person (musician, artist, teacher, engineer, chemist) has a very specific creative ability that they perceive, feel and experience life through. If we can get educators from the top down to see and feel this...then we can tap in to each child's creative ability resulting in their success.
...and this is where I will start the next phase of my life coming from...stay tuned... :o)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Compassion...or lack there of...
"Compassion is a human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering."
Compassion, or Daya, is one of the three central virtues in Hinduism.
Compassion, or Karuna, is at the transcendental and experiential heart of Buddhism.
Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. - The Buddha
Compassion is more than simply a human emotion in the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah.
"Kindness gives to another. Compassion knows no 'other'"
True Christian compassion, say the Gospels, should extend to all, even to the extent of loving one's enemies.
So where is it then? Where is all this Compassion?? I mean really...every where you look...every sound you hear...the masses around the world seem to have lost their Compassion. And not has Compassion simply been lost...but it seems that people have spiraled in to a state of mind being the exact opposite.
"Compassion fatigue, is a term that refers to a gradual lessening of compassion over time...including hopelessness, a decrease in experiences of pleasure, constant stress and anxiety, and a pervasive negative attitude"
hmmmm....sound familiar anyone??
And this Compassion Fatigue is being rammed down our collective throats thank you Hannity, Coulter, Beck, Limbaugh, Olbermann, Matthews, Will, Maddow, Scarborough, cripes...the list goes on and on. And so does the divisive "I'm Right...You Are Wrong" dis-compassionate rhetoric that seems to be lulling the general populations in to a Compassion Fatigue like no other.
The human psyche can take only so much. So, bring on the Zoloft, Xanax, Effexor, Prozac, Norpramin, Paxil, Klonopin, Ativan, Cymbalta...gee...looks like there's as many meds as there are pundits! Go figure...
Compassion, or Daya, is one of the three central virtues in Hinduism.
Compassion, or Karuna, is at the transcendental and experiential heart of Buddhism.
Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. - The Buddha
Compassion is more than simply a human emotion in the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah.
"Kindness gives to another. Compassion knows no 'other'"
True Christian compassion, say the Gospels, should extend to all, even to the extent of loving one's enemies.
So where is it then? Where is all this Compassion?? I mean really...every where you look...every sound you hear...the masses around the world seem to have lost their Compassion. And not has Compassion simply been lost...but it seems that people have spiraled in to a state of mind being the exact opposite.
"Compassion fatigue, is a term that refers to a gradual lessening of compassion over time...including hopelessness, a decrease in experiences of pleasure, constant stress and anxiety, and a pervasive negative attitude"
hmmmm....sound familiar anyone??
And this Compassion Fatigue is being rammed down our collective throats thank you Hannity, Coulter, Beck, Limbaugh, Olbermann, Matthews, Will, Maddow, Scarborough, cripes...the list goes on and on. And so does the divisive "I'm Right...You Are Wrong" dis-compassionate rhetoric that seems to be lulling the general populations in to a Compassion Fatigue like no other.
The human psyche can take only so much. So, bring on the Zoloft, Xanax, Effexor, Prozac, Norpramin, Paxil, Klonopin, Ativan, Cymbalta...gee...looks like there's as many meds as there are pundits! Go figure...
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
"The Golden Rule"...it comes down to Karma...
The Ethic of Reciprocity, otherwise known as The Golden Rule: "Treat people as you would want to be treated."
Regardless of how you want to word it...what Faith you hold on to...it's all the same:
"Do unto others as you would have done unto you"
"What goes around ~ comes around"
"What you put out...you get back in return"
"That which you hate to be done to you, do not do to another"
"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself."
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
For me - it all comes down to Karma...plain and simple.
Karma is defined as a "deed" or "act" and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction that governs all life. We can even put it into techie-terminology: Garbage In --> Garbage Out, or GIGO.
My personal belief system is that which is loosely based on the Law of Attraction which basically says that people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives.
I believe we are all made up of Energy. As we all know - there is Positive Energy and there is Negative Energy. I personally prefer to refer to these as "The Warm Fuzzies" and "The Cold Pricklies". My favorite way to explain to people who don't understand what I mean is this:
Have you ever been somewhere...and someone approaches you from behind, and you suddenly feel like the hair on your neck is standing on end. Your shoulders gets tense and you just feel like "UGH". Who ever it was that walked up to you has what I call "The Cold Pricklies". Then they open their mouths and confirm it by spouting off everything that's wrong in their life, their day, their family, their job, their car...whatever.
Now on the flip-side...someone approaches you from behind, and you instantly feel love and almost know who exactly it is who has walked in and up to you. You turn around with a big smile on your face, relaxed and ready to embrace this person (either literally or figuratively). You have been approached by a "Warm Fuzzy". They make eye contact...ask you how your day was...how your family is...tells you "so and so was asking for you"...and wants to be sure your having a GREAT day!
One is filled with Negative Energy...the other...obviously Positive Energy.
I think we are all born with a specific type of Energy, inherited from our parents...but most specifically from our mothers. I believe that our level of energy is also something that is innate. And while I believe we are born one way...I also believe we can alter not only our state of energy, but our level of energy. Some people have to work harder at it than others...but I believe it can be done. I also believe that the Energy we surround ourselves with is a major contributing factor here as well.
So what is my point here....besides just getting my rambling thoughts out of my head on to "paper"? I have a few key points actually:
1. I do not believe there is a God out there that dictates anything, rewards anything or creates anything for that matter.
2. I do believe that EVERYTHING is energy, constantly moving, shifting, altering, evolving, ebbing and flowing.
3. I believe the more Positive Energy in an environment, the more productive, happy and 'ethical' the environment is.
4. I believe the more Negative Energy in an environment, the more non-productive, angry and 'immoral' the environment is.
5. I believe that right now, the Negative Energy is the majority that is flowing through Television, Movies, Video Games, News, Mass Media outlets, etc...resulting in our current state of the Global Community.
6. Finally, I believe that right now is a PIVOTAL moment in time. The Positives or "The Warm Fuzzies" have to rise up and basically take over. Once this happens, we will start to see Positive Energy flow through the Global Community.
We need to start "creating" Good Karma. We need to start "treating others as we ourselves want to be treated." We need to get and share our Positive Energy.
So from now on - when someone asks "How are you?"...tell them "Good and getting better! and YOU?"
Stop focusing on the flat tire you got, or the time your mom said you couldn't go to the movies with "Johnny" or how you can't catch a break. Count your blessings instead. The more positives you focus on...the more positives you notice...the more positive you become....and the more Positive Energy you give off, directly impacting those around you.
And remember: What you put out there...WILL be given back to you! It may not be an immediate or obvious result...but it WILL happen.
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin to do
Its up to you, yeah you
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin at fools like me
Who in the hell d'you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Everyone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you're everywhere
Come and get your share
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Regardless of how you want to word it...what Faith you hold on to...it's all the same:
"Do unto others as you would have done unto you"
"What goes around ~ comes around"
"What you put out...you get back in return"
"That which you hate to be done to you, do not do to another"
"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself."
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
For me - it all comes down to Karma...plain and simple.
Karma is defined as a "deed" or "act" and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction that governs all life. We can even put it into techie-terminology: Garbage In --> Garbage Out, or GIGO.
My personal belief system is that which is loosely based on the Law of Attraction which basically says that people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives.
I believe we are all made up of Energy. As we all know - there is Positive Energy and there is Negative Energy. I personally prefer to refer to these as "The Warm Fuzzies" and "The Cold Pricklies". My favorite way to explain to people who don't understand what I mean is this:
Have you ever been somewhere...and someone approaches you from behind, and you suddenly feel like the hair on your neck is standing on end. Your shoulders gets tense and you just feel like "UGH". Who ever it was that walked up to you has what I call "The Cold Pricklies". Then they open their mouths and confirm it by spouting off everything that's wrong in their life, their day, their family, their job, their car...whatever.
Now on the flip-side...someone approaches you from behind, and you instantly feel love and almost know who exactly it is who has walked in and up to you. You turn around with a big smile on your face, relaxed and ready to embrace this person (either literally or figuratively). You have been approached by a "Warm Fuzzy". They make eye contact...ask you how your day was...how your family is...tells you "so and so was asking for you"...and wants to be sure your having a GREAT day!
One is filled with Negative Energy...the other...obviously Positive Energy.
I think we are all born with a specific type of Energy, inherited from our parents...but most specifically from our mothers. I believe that our level of energy is also something that is innate. And while I believe we are born one way...I also believe we can alter not only our state of energy, but our level of energy. Some people have to work harder at it than others...but I believe it can be done. I also believe that the Energy we surround ourselves with is a major contributing factor here as well.
So what is my point here....besides just getting my rambling thoughts out of my head on to "paper"? I have a few key points actually:
1. I do not believe there is a God out there that dictates anything, rewards anything or creates anything for that matter.
2. I do believe that EVERYTHING is energy, constantly moving, shifting, altering, evolving, ebbing and flowing.
3. I believe the more Positive Energy in an environment, the more productive, happy and 'ethical' the environment is.
4. I believe the more Negative Energy in an environment, the more non-productive, angry and 'immoral' the environment is.
5. I believe that right now, the Negative Energy is the majority that is flowing through Television, Movies, Video Games, News, Mass Media outlets, etc...resulting in our current state of the Global Community.
6. Finally, I believe that right now is a PIVOTAL moment in time. The Positives or "The Warm Fuzzies" have to rise up and basically take over. Once this happens, we will start to see Positive Energy flow through the Global Community.
We need to start "creating" Good Karma. We need to start "treating others as we ourselves want to be treated." We need to get and share our Positive Energy.
So from now on - when someone asks "How are you?"...tell them "Good and getting better! and YOU?"
Stop focusing on the flat tire you got, or the time your mom said you couldn't go to the movies with "Johnny" or how you can't catch a break. Count your blessings instead. The more positives you focus on...the more positives you notice...the more positive you become....and the more Positive Energy you give off, directly impacting those around you.
And remember: What you put out there...WILL be given back to you! It may not be an immediate or obvious result...but it WILL happen.
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin to do
Its up to you, yeah you
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin at fools like me
Who in the hell d'you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Everyone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you're everywhere
Come and get your share
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
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